Crotch grabbing a flirtatious metrosexual on the street who seems to kinda like it

So the other night I went to a gay pub for a few beers. I was getting tipsy and chatting with some guys and then an acquaintance of mine walked in and bought me yet another beer. So I was pretty tipsy and getting gregarious. At closing time, me and this guy I had been chatting with poured onto the street.

We were just rambling when this cute metrosexual dude in his late 30s walked by and engaged us in a conversation. (See: How To Know if You're a Metrosexual). Actually he interrupted our conversation, but he was cute so I obliged. He was trying really hard to show his acceptance and tolerance of gays. He kept saying how cool the bar we had stumbled out of was and rattled off the names of a few gay clubs that had closed down many years ago to some how prove that he wasn't a homophobe or something. The guy I was chatting with and I both said it was just a bar and we weren't that thrilled with the place. It was odd that he was more thrilled with it than we were.

He was obviously very homosocial, but he also made a point of saying, "I'm not gay" several times. I replied, "I'm not gay either" to see how he'd respond and I could see his head spinning.

Labels are a peculiar thing and many of us who don't identify as gay negotiate our identities differently. I also think that by the time you're in your late 30s, you've had plenty of time to explore both sides of the closet. Even most gay personals online repeatedly ask "How out are you" and the options provided are indicative of the diversity of "outness".

I think the closet has often been thought of as a bad thing because "you're not being true to yourself" or whatever. I think that's a crock. We're not all a 6 on the Kinsey Scale.

So the guy and I had been chatting in the bar about circumcision. I asked the flirty metrosexual if he was cut or uncut. He got shy and wouldn't answer but persisted talking to us. He was all smiling and happy. So I leaned over to grab his crotch and check for myself. He jumped back to avoid getting crotch grabbed and smiled as though he almost wanted it. Eventually after a few failed attempts he never pulled back in time and I successfully grabbed his crotch and gave it a gentle squeeze. He was wearing sweat pants so I could feel quite a bit. It felt like he was either cut or he had a very thin foreskin. So I said to the the other guy, "He's cut" and then the metrosexual said "No, I'm not". Alas, we got our answer. Ha!

We all parted ways smiling.