Daytime television deals with sexuality and coming out

Sometimes I feel like I increasingly live in my own little world as I get older. I used to follow pop culture very closely but am not nearly as plugged in as I was in my teens and early 20s.

The other day I noticed "Videos being watched right now" on YouTube. One of them was two young men kissing on As The World Turns. I spent a bit of time watching the various YouTube segments on this gay storyline and read some of the comments.

The two characters are Luke Snyder and Noah Mayer (played by Van Hansis and Jake Silbermann). Neither of them are stereotypical gay guys and are both good looking and straight acting.

The plot is your typical love triangle: Noah is dating Luke's best friend, Maddie Coleman. What's interesting is that Noah is very confused about his sexuality while Luke is now "out" and increasingly comfortable with being gay.

You can watch Noah and Luke's story at: http://vanhansis.net/gallery.html

The comments on YouTube vary. Some think Luke is being too hard on Noah and expecting him to come out too quickly, while others think it's realistic in that Noah needs time to figure things out.

TV has come a long way since I was a kid and sexuality is definitely an issue for many people today. I'll be curious to see where this storyline goes and to watch Noah's struggle. Even if someone comes out as a gay man, it certainly does not mean "happily ever after". In fact, I think guys who come out are often more miserable and lonely than some who are "in the closet". Coming out is definitely not a magic solution nor does it happen in one day. For many it's a life long process of self acceptance and learning about what we're willing to live with (or live without). Life is a confidence game.

The kiss...



The struggle...

"For you it's not wrong, but for me it is... I think you made a choice and I'm making mine... I can control it. I will control it. Be my friend, don't tell anyone..." - Noah



In conclusion, we all deal with our sexuality in different ways. Sexuality is not black and white and it's not just about sex - the F in BF is for friend. I think society often forgets that. Men need close male friends and the boundaries of intimacy are increasingly blurry today.

Sexuality is a huge spectrum of desires, needs and emotions. All of our needs will never be completely met by another person, regardless of whether we're straight or gay and bisexuality is often the elephant in the room that is rarely discussed. I think everyone has the propensity towards bisexuality but because it is neither here nor there, we come to terms with either a straight life or a gay life.

Desire, needs and emotions are not a constant and can change over time because everyone is on a journey of self-discovery and growth. I recently ran into an old gay friend of mine who is around 40 and is starting to having romantic feelings for a woman. We are all learning about life and how to live our lives based on our own experiences. We all have fears and insecurities. For some, homosexuality is wrong and for others it isn't. Either way, I think most people would agree that it's not the ideal and doesn't come without its own pain and problems.

To be continued...